Anger Management for Teens: Tecniques, how to & Dos and Dont’s

Anger is a natural emotion experienced by kids, teens and adults. During adolescence, emotions tend to get heightened. New challenges, hormones, navigating peer relationships and academic pressure can all trigger intense periods of anger or more frequent outbursts. 

Dealing with a moody or angry teen is normal for most parents. However, if you find your teen is overwhelmed by anger, help them manage this with preventive strategies. 

Anger is often misunderstood and mishandled. It is perfectly healthy for your teen to feel angry. Navigating this big emotion with your teen can help mitigate the discomfort they are feeling internally. 

If your teen is experiencing explosive outbursts, participating in destructive behavior or having constant angry thoughts it is important to provide them with a healthy outlet and coping strategies to manage this problem. I outline several in this guide.

Updated and Fact-Checked May 2024 By: Christine Zambos, LMFT

 Updated notes:

• • • Updated approaches according to new studies
    • Updated Teen Context according to new trends
    • Updated data

Understanding Anger in the Teen Context

Teens are notorious for being “angry with the world”. It is normal for teenagers to feel misunderstood, isolated and uncomfortable during this developmental stage. This is especially heightened during puberty, when new hormones lead to periods of intense feelings or discomfort.  

During periods of intense anger, your teen may experience intense physiological changes such as increased heart rate, adrenaline, or spikes in hormones. Anger may look different from teen to teen, but common signs to be aware of include: 

• Yelling or screaming
• Explosive outbursts 
• Clenched fists 
• Violent behavior to self or others
• Blacking out, loss of self control  

Hormones and Anger

During adolescence, hormones such as estrogen, cortisol and testosterone rise. These hormones can make your teen feel their emotions more intensely—leading to heightened levels of anger or aggression.  

Underlying Mental Health Issues or Trauma 

Teens with underlying mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder or a history of trauma may be prone to higher levels of uncontrollable anger. 

Recognizing Anger in Your Teen

Teens may express their anger in a variety of ways. It can be externalized, internalized, or passive. 

• External aggression is the classic sign we associate with anger, and often seen more in teenage boys. This includes physical violence, destruction around the home, hostility towards authority figures or getting in frequent fights. 
• Internalized aggression is often seen more in teenage girls. This may involve suppressing their anger and that can manifest as other mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, disordered eating and even self-harm. 
• Passive aggression is a bit harder to spot but can involve making sarcastic comments or engaging in spiteful behavior with peers.

Understanding how your teen expresses their anger can help you better support them. Modeling and encouraging healthy anger management skills can lead to better relationships and prevent future mental or physical health problems.

Can Expressing Anger Be a Good Thing?

Learning to manage anger effectively is a great skill set for teens to develop in their youth. It can be used as a powerful motivator for social change and improving our lives. As adults it is up to parents, educators and community members to model and teach healthy and safe ways to process the anger many teenagers feel. 

The Teen Anger Cycle

Helping teens navigate their anger is the first step in providing healthy strategies they can use. While parents may feel outbursts are sudden, most have a root cause or trigger. Even if not noticeable at first. 

Anger is associated with the “flight or fight response”. This hormonal and physical process allows our bodies to react quickly to threats and is a natural part of being human. When the response is activated it can trigger: 

• Rapid heart rate 
• Muscle tension
• Heightened senses 
• Fast breathing 
• General disorientation 

Teenagers going through this stage of development are extra vulnerable to this. When the fight or flight is activated it can lead to stronger or more frequent periods of anger and aggression. 

Educating your teen about the changes happening in their body enables teens to recognize and navigate these feelings of anger— instead of them believing something is fundamentally wrong with them. 

When Does Anger Become An Issue? 

Although a normal emotion, learning to properly manage feelings of anger is an essential part of adulthood and living in a civilized society. Teens that do not learn to manage their anger are at an increased rate of legal issues, mental health and physical health problems. 

If your teen is destructive to themselves or others, it may be time to reach out to a mental health provider to get them the support they need. Repeated and intense episode of anger can lead to: 

• High blood pressure
• Anxiety
• Substance abuse
• Academic problems
• Legal troubles

Effective Strategies for Teens 

When it comes to managing anger there is no one size fits all solution. Sometimes trying out a variety of coping tools takes trial and error. With awareness, time, patience and support,teens can find which coping strategy suits them best. 

Relaxation Techniques

As anger sends the body into “fight or flight mode”, learning simple relaxation strategies can help manage physical symptoms associated with anger by lowering the heart rate, stabilizing breathing and decreasing muscle tension. Have them try these:

• Deep breathing 
• Guided imagery 
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Yoga
• Listen to music
• Engage in self-expressive activities including poetry, journaling, painting, drawing, etc

Self-Soothing and Grounding 

There are a number of ways teens can learn to soothe their nervous system. Suggest your teen try some of the following below and explore what makes them feel good: 

• Teaching your teen to be self-compassionate and talk to themselves in an uplifting way through positive affirmations not only prevents anger issues, but will boost their self-esteem and general wellbeing. 
• If your teen has a pet or loves animals this can be a great source of comfort to help calm them down. And if they don’t, perhaps consider getting a pet.
• Engage them in an activity if their anger tends to get physically destructive. A healthy outlet such as sports, martial arts, or drumming can be a great way to channel the tension they feel.  
• Encourage them to self-soothe through engaging their senses with something comforting like a warm bath, soft blanket, putting on their comfy pajamas, lying in the grass, etc.  
• Have them list things out loud as a method of distraction. This could be their favorite foods, TV shows, songs, movies, books, YouTube videos, etc. 

Resilience Building

Building resilience and staying emotionally balanced is a great way to prevent potential outbursts. Self-care builds a stable foundation for navigating the teenage anger cycle: 

• Adequate sleep (8 hours every night recommended) 
• Eat a well-balanced diet
• Engage in physical activity 
• Stay social  
• Have a trusted person or system of support you can vent to 

The Importance of Physical Activity for Anger Management 

Exercise provides a healthy outlet to release excess energy that could potentially manifest into anger. 

Teens can explore activities they enjoy such as team sports, swimming, yoga, hiking, dance, or group fitness classes. Getting movement each day is important for releasing endorphins in the brain that improve relaxation and decrease stress.  

Effective Strategies for Parents 

Providing your teen with a healthy foundation and support to manage their anger is an important part of the process. 

Open Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills 

Building a safe and trusting relationship with your teen will support their mental health in a variety of ways. Teaching them to directly communicate their needs and feelings, rather than holding them in, will help mitigate aggressive behaviors. 

Effective communication teaches teens how to actively listen, see other points of view, think before speaking and treat people with respect.  

Tips for Practicing Effective Communication with Your Teen 

• Use “I” statements to directly express feelings
• Give them your full attention and process what they are saying. Ask questions and refraining from interrupting. 
• Practicing emotional regulation skills during conversations. Teach them how to respond rather than react.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anger Management

For more extreme cases or if you have trouble managing these problems around the home, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be an effective treatment for controlling anger. 

CBT can help your teen identify triggers and negative thought patterns leading to anger and destructive behavior. Working with a trained therapist or licensed counselor, your teen will develop a plan based on their individual needs and coping strategies that work for them. This structured approach may also include workbooks, homework or attending support groups. 

How Clearfork Academy Can Help your Angry Teenager

At Clearfork Academy, we understand that it’s normal for teenagers to experience anger during this vulnerable stage of development. However, when a teenager experiences anger frequently or aggressively, it becomes a serious problem that affects their relationships, health, and well-being.

We offer individual, family, and group therapies to ensure your teenager gets the care and support they need. We understand that every young person is unique, and we work hard to provide personalized mental health and substance abuse treatment plans tailored to their needs. To start your teen on an inspiring journey that leads to better communication, emotional self-control, and inner calm, reach out to us today.