Watching your adolescent or teen struggle with mental illness is never an easy thing. It can be difficult to know what to do or say, even when your best interest lies in your child getting the help they need.
It is common for parents to go to great lengths to protect their adolescents from illness, injury, and hurt. When addiction and substance use begins to play a factor in their life, it can be shocking for a parent to understand how or why their child got to that point. Whether a parent experiences feelings of guilt, blame, or resentment towards their teen, there are unique things to keep in mind that can set your child up for an effective and efficient recovery journey.
Becoming an Educated Parent
Substance use and mental illness within any given home may pose numerous challenges. The most important factor in staying optimistic and understanding during it all is for each parent to become educated about addiction, mental illness, and substance use to the best of their ability. It also helps reduce intense feelings of guilt or shame, both for the parents and the child.
For example, many people do not learn to question the nature of addiction throughout their lives unless they become directly affected by it. Instead, people submit to stigmas and stereotypes created by society. With this, one of the most important things to understand about addiction and substance use/abuse is that they develop from a combination of factors, including:
- Biological, genetic makeup
- Parental influences
- Home environment
- Social influences
- Psychological conditions, such as co-occurring conditions
When you first learn that your child is using substances, you may feel separated from them. Educate yourself about your teen’s substance of choice. Consider things like its addictive potential or how they came to use that specific substance. Question the myths and stereotypes of addiction, and hear your teen out. Learn more about the nature of addiction and how to be a supportive parent during their recovery journey. Both parents must be on the same page about what they know and understand about addiction.
Find Social Support
Educational opportunities may also come in the form of parental support groups. For parents who have a child with a substance use disorder, it is crucial to find a group that can help them feel supported and loved. You may feel like your teen’s condition is a burden on you, thinking that where your child is at is your fault. No matter where you stand with your teen, having positive social support can increase your understanding of mental health and minimize the consequences of stress, trauma, and other mental distress.
Addressing the Elephant in the Room
Every parent discovers teen substance use differently. Whether this is the first time, you’re addressing it or the fifth, how you have a conversation with your teen matters greatly. While learning about substance use, you will come to understand that substance use typically begins from feelings of isolation, lack of self-worth, or mental distress. Consider these factors when you talk with your teen about their substance use.
For example, when talking with your teen, you may want to consider:
- Your tone of voice
- Your word choice
- Avoiding judgment
- Avoiding shame
and instead, approaching the conversation from a place of:
- concern for your teen’s past, present, and future
- curiosity for how it all began
- care and compassion for your teen
- caution for all things considered
Co-parents must agree about how to go about having a conversation with their teens about their substance use. The home environment and parental influences are two crucial factors that influence why a teen may use substances, have parental dysfunction, or have disconnection. Co-parents must learn to ask questions without placing blame, treat their teens with dignity and respect, and set necessary boundaries for their teens moving forward.
How to Go About Utilizing Teen Treatment
It is the role of the parents to address what steps need to be taken for your teen to get the treatment that they need to recover from their addiction or substance use. Considering your teen’s age, it may help to discuss treatment options for your teen with your teen. Forced treatment rarely provides long-term recovery, so getting your teen on board with where you stand as a parent is necessary.
Consider the severity of your child’s addiction. Have a mental health professional evaluate your teen’s situation, as they will be able to recommend treatment centers or programs that could benefit your teen. Always remember to keep your best foot forward with your teen. As hard as it may be to send them to a treatment facility, all you and your partner want is what is best for your child.
Co-parenting a child or teen with a substance use disorder can be overwhelming. You may struggle to know what is best for your child, even with the help of your partner. You must obtain as much knowledge as possible about the nature of your teen’s addiction so that you can better understand their unique situation. Clearfork Academy is a teen treatment center that offers inpatient and outpatient programs, depending on the individualized needs of your teen. Our programs foster leadership, emotional, and behavioral skills that will empower them to take responsibility for their substance use. We believe in the potential of teenagers, and the power of Christ, to take charge of their lives. Remember, unity is required to help your teen manage their addiction. For more information about how to co-parent a child in recovery or about the treatment options that Clearfork Academy offers, give us a call today at (817) 259-2597.
Originally from the Saginaw, Eagle Mountain area, Austin Davis earned a Bachelor of Science in Pastoral Ministry from Lee University in Cleveland, TN and a Master of Arts in Counseling from The Church of God Theological Seminary. He then went on to become a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor in the State of Texas.
Austin’s professional history includes both local church ministry and clinical counseling. At a young age, he began serving youth at the local church in various capacities which led to clinical training and education. Austin gained a vast knowledge of mental health disorders while working in state and public mental health hospitals. This is where he was exposed to almost every type of diagnosis and carries this experience into the daily treatment.
Austin’s longtime passion is Clearfork Academy, a christ-centered residential facility focused on mental health and substance abuse. He finds joy and fulfillment working with “difficult” clients that challenge his heart and clinical skill set. It is his hope and desire that each resident that passes through Clearfork Academy will be one step closer to their created design.
Austin’s greatest pleasures in life are being a husband to his wife, and a father to his growing children. He serves at his local church by playing guitar, speaking and helping with tech arts. Austin also enjoys being physically active, reading, woodworking, and music.
