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Communication is a two-way street; just as the words we speak hold meaning, how we listen and process those words is just as important, and guides how we connect with others.
When we aim to understand what is being said, ask questions, and provide feedback, we are actively listening. Just listening to the sounds that come out of someone’s mouth is known as passive listening.
For teens, mastering the art of active listening can improve their ability to communicate, which strengthens social functioning, academic performance, and relationships. Active listening is a skill that often must be taught and consistently practiced.
Read on for several tips to help your teen become a better listener and communicator.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening means that you don’t just hear the words that a person is saying, but you pay attention to how they feel, what they are trying to express, why they are saying what they are saying, and nonverbal communication (looking at facial expressions or body language).
Active listening shifts the mindset from hearing the words to fully understanding (or trying to understand) the person you’re communicating with. Active listening requires intention and focus, and is often a learned skill.
Active listening requires the listener to remove distractions, avoid interrupting, and provide feedback such as summarizing the key points made or asking clarifying questions. The goal of the listener is to build trust with their speaker and show genuine empathy for the other person’s perspective.
Why is Active Listening Important?
Active listening is an important skill that improves communication and strengthens relationships. Especially for teens whose social and communication skills are still developing.
Studies show that active listening can increase academic engagement, as students who understand and feel understood by their teachers or peers often are more motivated to achieve. Active listening can also boost confidence in teens, helping them feel more prepared to communicate effectively [1].
Teens carry this skill with them into adulthood as well. Research shows that 64% of Human Resources professionals consider active listening as one of the most important skills for effective leadership. It also showed that active listening can boost collaboration and productivity by 25%, while decreasing misunderstandings by nearly 40% [2].
What is Passive Listening?
Unlike active listening, passive listening is hearing the words without trying to understand what they actually mean. Passive listeners do not engage or actively process the information they are being given. The listener may appear like they are paying attention, but does not provide feedback, ask questions, or demonstrate genuine interest.
Passive listening may look like distracted behavior, such as checking their phone, and a lack of feedback or giving a response. Passive listening can strain relationships and create feelings of disconnection.
Teens who have difficulty actively listening may have a hard time following directions, getting along with teachers or peers, and struggle with depression due to social disconnect or isolation.
Examples of Passive vs Active Listening
Passive Listening:
- Your teen may be nodding along to the conversation, but if you ask them to repeat back to you what you just said, you’re met with a blank stare.
- Giving one-word answers or short responses without processing what is being said, “ok,” “nice,” “uh-huh”.
- Scrolling on their phone or getting easily distracted.
- They may interrupt and be restless for the conversation to end.
Active Listening:
- After explaining the rules to your teen, they might respond with, “I hear that you want me to do X, because you’re worried about my safety. I’ll try to do that.”
> This shows your teen is listening to your concerns and respecting the boundaries you put in place. Listening and respecting their concerns.
- A friend shares a problem, and your teen responds with, “It sounds like you’re really stressed about this. What do you need for support?”
> This shows they are paying attention to what is being said, showing genuine empathy, and asking for questions/feedback/next steps.
- During group projects, a teen might repeat back to a teammate their idea: “So you’re suggesting we split up the work by chapters?”
> This helps avoid confusion and reduces misunderstandings, leading to better academic collaboration.
- Other examples of active listening include using nonverbal cues like nodding, maintaining eye contact, and using relaxed, comfortable body language.
5 Tips for Teens to Become Better Listeners
Becoming a better listener takes practice, but with small, intentional steps, your teen can improve how they connect with friends, classmates, and loved ones.
- Stay Present: Focus completely on the person talking. Put down your phone, and if you notice you’re getting distracted, that’s okay, just try to bring yourself back to the present moment.
- Ask Questions: Get curious about the person you’re speaking with and ask open-ended questions, not just yes/nos. Questions like “how did that make you feel?” “What are your thoughts on that? Or “what happened after that?” can show you are actively paying attention.
- Don’t Interrupt. This includes in-class, as well as at home or with friends. Let others finish what they are saying before you talk. It shows respect and lets them share their full thoughts.
- Provide Feedback. Show you’re listening by repeating or paraphrasing what was said. Ask clarifying questions, “So let me get this right, you said (repeat part of what was said)”.
- Practice Empathy: Enter the conversation with a curious mindset and try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Even if you don’t agree with what’s being said, think about how the person might feel or why they are saying it.
Building Communication Skills in Teens at Clearfork Academy
Clearfork Academy is a network of behavioral health facilities in Texas committed to helping teens recover from substance abuse disorders and co-occurring mental health challenges. We also provide education to families and communities to support the growth and development of teens.
Our family support services include therapy, skill-building workshops, and educational events to help parents and caregivers strengthen their relationships with youth to foster their success and emotional well-being. Contact our admissions team and discover how Clearfork Academy can support your teen today.
Sources
[1] Yejide, I. 2024. The Impact of Active Listening on Student Engagement and Learning Outcomes in Educational Settings. Research Gate.
[2] Sadato, N. et al. (2015). Perceiving active listening activates the reward system and improves the impression of relevant experiences. Social neuroscience, 10(1), 16–26.
Austin Davis, LPC-S
Founder & CEO
Originally from the Saginaw, Eagle Mountain area, Austin Davis earned a Bachelor of Science in Pastoral Ministry from Lee University in Cleveland, TN and a Master of Arts in Counseling from The Church of God Theological Seminary. He then went on to become a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor in the State of Texas. Austin’s professional history includes both local church ministry and clinical counseling. At a young age, he began serving youth at the local church in various capacities which led to clinical training and education. Austin gained a vast knowledge of mental health disorders while working in state and public mental health hospitals. This is where he was exposed to almost every type of diagnosis and carries this experience into the daily treatment.
Austin’s longtime passion is Clearfork Academy, a christ-centered residential facility focused on mental health and substance abuse. He finds joy and fulfillment working with “difficult” clients that challenge his heart and clinical skill set. It is his hope and desire that each resident that passes through Clearfork Academy will be one step closer to their created design. Austin’s greatest pleasures in life are being a husband to his wife, and a father to his growing children. He serves at his local church by playing guitar, speaking and helping with tech arts. Austin also enjoys being physically active, reading, woodworking, and music.
