How to Deal with a Teenager That Doesn’t Care

It can be distressing for parents to watch their once lively and passionate child turn into an apathetic teen who doesn’t care about anything. Sometimes, teenagers become more distant, isolated, or prone to conflict, which can damage their relationships. 

It’s normal for teens to have mood swings or be difficult to deal with as they experience hormonal changes, explore their identities, and challenge authority for their independence. 

However, if your teens’ moods become increasingly and noticeably unstable, or they become so careless that it affects their daily functioning, this could be a sign of an underlying mental health problem. 

Understanding Teenage Emotions

Most parents recognize that adolescent years are filled with a rollercoaster of emotions. Teen emotions tend to be more unpredictable, moody, and angsty. They also may see things in more black or white. For example, positive emotions may feel like extreme euphoria, while negative emotions can feel like the end of the world. 

A few essential points to understand about emotions that you can share with your teen include: 

• Emotions are like waves; they come and go. Most of us experience several emotions in a day, and it’s normal to feel more than one emotion at once. 
• Emotions exist on a spectrum. Depending on the situation and headspace one is already in, they may feel mild, moderate, or intense. 
• Emotions aren’t inherently bad or good, but how we express them is. For example, it is okay for your teen to feel angry, but that doesn’t give them the right to be aggressive.

What is the Reason Behind This? 

There are several reasons teens may be more emotionally unstable than other age demographics. These are a combination of biological, environmental, and social factors. Common ones include: 

• Brain development: The prefrontal cortex of the teen brain is still forming. This area controls centers responsible for emotional regulation, reasoning skills, problem-solving skills, planning, and impulse control. As teens are still learning to manage their emotional responses, this can heighten emotionally erratic behaviors.
• Hormones & Puberty: Teenagers undergo several changes that can cause discomfort or impact their self-esteem. Hormones can affect the brain, leading to heightened emotional responses. For example, in teenage boys, as testosterone levels increase, this can lead to more aggressive behaviors or moods.
• Trauma: Teens who experience trauma in their youth can have regions of the brain disrupted. This can make them more apathetic or sensitive, leading to isolation, an inability to trust, and other maladaptive behaviors.
• Life Stressors: Just like adults, teens have their own set of stressors they are navigating. This can make them shut down and simply not care or increase feelings of anxiety. These may include academic pressure, peer pressure, or instability in the home. 
• Mental Health Disorders: Underlying mental health problems can take normal teenage emotional issues to the next level. For example, depression can make teens apathetic and careless over their quality of life. 

Signs Your Teen Struggles With Mental Health 

Teens are more vulnerable to mental health problems than other demographics due to the sensitive nature of the developing brain. Although teenage mood swings can be expected, if they impair relationships or impact daily functioning, they can cause concern. If unstable emotions are paired with other signs of mental health problems, it is important to provide intervention and get your teen treatment. 

Other signs of mental health problems in teens include: 

• Lack of self-care 
• Decline in school
• Isolation 
• Lack of motivation
• Changes in sleep/appetite 
• Secretive behavior
• Low self-esteem 
• Substance abuse 
• Self-harm 

Why Doesn’t My Teen Care About Anything?

Sometimes, parents notice their teens struggle with a chronic “IDGAF” attitude. They may participate in reckless or careless behaviors or even say, “I don’t care,” when you try to confront them with a concern. Teens who give up caring for themselves or others are often struggling with underlying emotional problems. Some common mental health problems that can cause apathy in teens and make them less likely to care include: 

• Trauma
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Learning Disabilities (ADHD, autism, etc.)

Strategies to Help Them Care 

It is important to build a solid relationship with your teen and show them that you care, regardless of their emotional state. Strategies for this include: 

Some tips for strengthening your relationship with your teen 

• Active listening to their problems, regardless if you think they are a “big deal” or not
• Don’t lecture them. Let them speak and avoid interrupting with judgemental feedback
• Try to connect with your teen by exploring the music they listen to, consent they consume, or activities they participate in 
• Offer praise and positive reinforcement when they do something good, recognizing their achievements 
• Set rules and consequences around certain behaviors or emotional responses 
• If you feel they are struggling with an underlying mental health problem, reach out for professional treatment 

Seeking Professional Help 

If you identify warning signs that your teen is struggling with their mental health or a substance abuse disorder, it’s essential to get them the treatment they need. At Clearfork Academy, our team of compassionate, licensed therapists understands the complex nature of out-of-control teens. 

We offer several levels of care, including residential treatment, PHP, and IOP services. Reach out to our Admissions team to learn more. 

Sources

The Teen Brain: 7 Things to Know. National Institute of Mental Health. 

Trauma, PTSD and the Developing Brain. National Library of Medicine.