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Understanding that many teens are in a sensitive stage of development and may struggle with their mental health, is important for parents. A combination of increased isolation, social media use, the pandemic, and changing hormones all have a role in the mental health of teens.
There are several tips and interventions that parents can use to support their teenagers, but the most important thing is building a foundation of validation and acceptance.
By validating our teens, we can help to reduce the stigma around teenage mental health and also help them feel safe sharing their experiences with us.
What Does “Validation” Mean?
Validation is a way of supporting another person’s feelings, thoughts, and actions. It tells them that what they are feeling and experiencing makes sense and is acceptable. Validation can improve relationships with friends and family. It can be a way to show love to someone by letting them know that they are heard and accepted for who they are.
For parents, validation can be a way of showing our teens that we support them and their mental health. It allows teens to openly explore their emotions and what they are feeling without shame.
Validating what our teens are going through can help build empathy and understanding around different perspectives. It shows that we are listening, and even if we don’t always understand, we still respect and care about how they are feeling.
Why is Validation Important for Teen Mental Health?
Validation is important for teen mental health for several reasons. It’s a way to build a stronger relationship with your teen by letting them know their feelings are taken seriously. It is one of the first steps to building trust and an open line of communication.
Many teens avoid coming to their parents during times of need out of fear their parents won’t understand. Validation can help break down these barriers to communication and allow them to see you as a safe space.
Validation is also important for reducing the stigma that has long revolved around teenage mental health. If teens are struggling, the signs may not always be recognizable. Building an environment in the home where mental health can be openly talked about increases the chance of teens reaching out for professional support if they need it.
Steps for Validating Your Teen´s Emotions
Everyone has different ways of feeling supported and validated. One good way to start is by simply asking your teen “How can I support you?”. They might not always know the answer to this, but by asking anyway it starts the validation process of them feeling seen, heard and respected. Some other steps for parents to follow when validating their teen’s emotions include:
- Actively listen to their problems and what they are going through. To listen actively means to withhold any judgment, avoid interrupting them, focus on what they are saying and their nonverbal cues as well. You may ask questions or provide a summary of what they say to make sure you heard them correctly.
- Respond to their problems rather than react. Sometimes seeing your teen struggle with their mental health can be difficult. It may cause you to react in a negative way charged by emotions. This can add extra stress to what your teen is already feeling. Try to stay calm, cool, and collected so you can provide them with a thoughtful response.
- Sometimes it’s necessary to read between the lines with teens. They may not always be able to communicate exactly what they are feeling. If they tell you about a negative experience such as getting bullied, you can try to imagine what emotions they are feeling without them telling you directly. A thoughtful response may sound like “That sounds very stressful and I am sure it makes you feel bad”.
- Take what they say seriously, especially if they come to you about their mental health. Sometimes adults think teens have nothing to worry about and write off their teen as being “overdramatic” or “looking for attention”.
Some statements that parents can use to validate the emotions of their teens include:
- “I can understand why you are feeling that way”
- “Tell me more about what you are feeling”
- “I understand this is a difficult time for you”
- “How can I be of support to you?”
- “I appreciate you being honest about your feelings with me”
- “I may not totally understand what you are feeling, but I am here for you regardless”
Some common statements that parents should avoid when addressing how their teens are feeling include:
- “It could be worse”
- “Just focus on the bright side”
- “You need to move on”
- “You´re being overdramatic”
- “You´re taking this too seriously”
- “You could have avoided feeling this way if you did this….”
When To Rely On Professional Help?
Although it can be normal for teens to experience heavy emotions, if you notice your teen is consistently struggling, it may be a more serious sign of a mental health disorder. It´s important to recognize signs of mental health problems in your teens to provide intervention and get them professional help. Some common signs of mental health issues in teens may include:
- Sudden academic decline
- Isolation
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Changes in sleep/appetite
- Rapid mood swings that go above and beyond what is typical for a teen
- Substance abuse
- Aggression or irritability
- Suicidal thinking or self-harm behaviors
Seeking Professional Help in Texas
If you notice your teen is struggling with their mental health, reach out for professional support to help find the best plan of treatment.
At Clearfork Academy our team of compassionate, licensed therapists understand the complex nature of mental health disorders in teens. Reach out to our Admissions team to learn more.
Mike grew up on a dairy farm in Parker County, Texas. At the age of 59, he went back to college and graduated 41 years after his first graduation from Weatherford College. God placed on his heart at that time the passion to begin to help others as they walked from addictions, alcoholism, and abuse of substances. He is a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and in the past few years he has worn many hats, from intake and assessment, group counseling, individual and family counseling, intensive outpatient and now he is working with clients, therapist, and families on discharge planning and aftercare. He also coordinates our Alumni Outreach Program.
