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Deciding when to give your kid or teen their first phone is a big step and comes with several points to consider, including the maturity level of your teen, if their daily patterns could benefit from a phone, and if it would improve their safety.
There is no “exact age” that experts agree on, but many recommend waiting until at least middle school (10 to 13), when your teen is beginning to gain more responsibility and independence, such as catching the bus, walking to practice after school, or staying home alone.
Phones can help teens stay connected and social, and are often a necessity in a rapidly changing digital world. However, they also come with a range of risks, including impact on mental health and self-esteem, social media addiction, cyberbullying, and general online safety. These should all be taken into account when deciding what age is best for your teen to get a phone.
Why Parents Ask: Should Kids Have Phones?
Many parents have questions about phones and teenagers: Should my kid have a phone? Are they old enough? Should I get them a Tracfone just for emergencies or a smartphone so they can connect online and with friends?
According to the Pew Research Center, 37% of 9 to 11-year-olds have a smartphone, and by the age of 16, that number jumps to about 97%. Most teens report using their phones, specifically social media, daily. Experts usually agree that there is no exact, one-size-fits-all age for when a teen should get their first phone. Many say 12 or 13, while others say it’s best to wait until 16 due to growing concerns around how social media impacts attention, memory, self-esteem, and overall mental health [1].
However, as a parent, it’s your decision, based on several individual needs and factors. Here are a few points to keep in mind when deciding if it is the best time to give your teen a phone.
- Social Media: Teens spend excessive time on social media today (averaging 4 to 6 hours), and evidence shows that this can lead to anxiety, lower self-esteem, and even increase the risk of eating disorders. It’s helpful for teens to stay connected to their friends and the online world, however, it’s best to set rules around social media use [2].
- Brain Development: Research shows that excessive screen time before the age of 10 can harm brain development, especially in the prefrontal cortex, which controls functions such as attention, learning, memory, and emotional regulation. Short-form social media and excessive scrolling are shrinking attention spans. If you do give your child/teen a phone, set screen time limits or use parental control apps (experts recommend 2 hours per day max) [3].
- Online Literacy is essential for safely being part of the online world. When you do give your teen a phone, make sure to teach them the importance of being respectful in online spaces, how to search and find reliable information, and how to protect their privacy and personal data.
Factors That Help Decide the Right Age
The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes considering several factors, such as your child’s social awareness, maturity level, ability to handle responsibility, and daily routines. For example, if your teen spends time at the house alone or walking to the bus/public transport, they may need a phone more than a teen who is constantly under the supervision of adults [4].
Below are several factors to help you decide what the right age is for your kiddo to get a phone.
- Maturity Level: Does your teen follow rules and demonstrate responsibility? Do they lack impulse control?
- Awareness of Risks: Are they aware of cyberbullying, privacy concerns, and have a basic understanding of how to stay safe online?
- Needs: Is the phone necessary to keep them safe? Do they spend much time alone/out of the supervision of adults?
- Social Awareness: Can they manage social media and the potential impact on mental health and self-esteem?
- Follow Rules: Do they already follow rules, do their chores, and demonstrate independence? Will they follow rules around phone use, such as screen time limits?
- Are you ready? Are parents prepared to monitor usage and engage in ongoing conversations about online safety?
Pros and Cons of Giving Phones to Teens
There are several pros and cons of giving teenagers phones that can cause confusion about whether it is the right thing to do. It’s important to consider both.
Some of the pros include:
- Increases communication and safety.
- Can be educational with access to learning apps and resources.
- Using music, podcasts, and social interaction can help improve their mood and be used as a coping tool for stress or anxiety.
- Smartphones help teens build essential digital literacy skills in today’s rapidly expanding technological world.
- Getting creative with graphic design, making TikToks, or YouTube videos can help teens explore their passions and increase motivation and self-fulfillment.
As for the cons, there are several negative effects of smartphones on teenage development. According to a global study, speaking to 25,000 children and teens, here are some alarming results they reported that highlight the cons of giving a child or teen a smartphone [5].
Some of the cons include [5]:
- Privacy and identity concerns, with 51% reporting having been contacted online by strangers, and one in three being encouraged to take the conversation to a private chat room.
- Smartphone and social media addiction can increase mental health challenges such as anxiety, isolation, and low self-esteem, with 52% of teens reporting they feel “addicted” to their screens. And around 56% report being insulted online or cyberbullied.
- Online predators and lack of digital safety, 40% have received unwanted, sexually explicit, or violent content.
- Increased levels of anxiety and insomnia. Blue light screens in phones can make it difficult to fall asleep and wake up feeling refreshed.
Screens and Teens: Phone Rules, Setting Limits, and Healthy Digital Habits
When you give your teen a phone, give them the rules right off the bat and let them know that continued access to their phone is based on following rules, screen time limits, and being a responsible digital citizen. Here are a few phone rules for teenagers and tips to help them build healthy digital habits:
- Educate your teen about social media, the risk of online safety, identity theft, protecting their privacy and financial information, and explaining to them that not everything they see online is real or accurate.
- Require your teen to use their phone responsibly. Check in with a call or text for safety. Keep their location on.
- Encourage them to engage with content that is beneficial to their development and mental health, such as self-help tools, educational videos, and apps to track their mood/nutrition/sleep).
- Set curfews around phone use. No phones at the dinner table, and screens go off 2 hours before bed to promote good sleep.
- Model healthy digital habits. Take breaks from your phone, and encourage technology-free days with the entire family.
- Limit access to violent, sexually explicit, or distressing content.
- Set limits on screen time (1 to 2 hours per day). Either verbally or through the use of a parental monitoring app to limit their screentime.
- Model healthy digital habits for your teen by monitoring the amount of time you spend on social media.
- Limit violent or distressing content using parental control apps and settings to set restrictions.
Top 10 Parental Control Apps
Explain to your teen why you are using parental controls, not to literally control them, but to protect their safety and mental well-being. Below are the top 10 parental control apps recommended in 2025.
- Qustodio: Monitoring across all devices, screen time limits, content filtering, detailed reporting on online usage and search history.
- Norton Family: Ideal for large families offering unlimited device coverage, location tracking, and content filtering.
- Google Family Link: Free option for basic parental control settings, such as screen time limits on both Android and iOS.
- Bark: Best for monitoring social media, giving parents real-time alerts on cyberbullying, risky media, or flagged websites/accounts.
- Life360: Best for location tracking. When your teen enters or leaves one of these designated “places,” set in the app, such as school or the home, it automatically sends an alert to other members of the family’s circle.
- NetNanny: Advanced content filtering with live monitoring and alerts.
- Canopy: Best for younger children and YouTube, with a focus on filtering inappropriate content.
- OurPact: Simple app for iOS to limit screen time and set scheduling.
- FamilyTime: Customizes screen time for each member of the family, and also offers communication monitoring features.
- Microsoft Family Safety is ideal for monitoring video game time and filtering out access to online strangers. Can be paired with Xbox Family Settings and PlayStation Family Management.
For younger children and pre-teens, parents can consider buying smartphones designed with safety in mind for youth, such as the Gabb Phone and Bark Phone. These block internet access, games, and social media, only allowing access to calls, texts, or approved apps, and can be a helpful way to introduce the concept of “staying connected” to children and pre-teens.
Supporting Teens and Their Families at Clearfork Academy
Clearfork Academy is a network of behavioral health facilities in Texas committed to helping teens recover from substance abuse disorders and co-occurring mental health challenges. We also provide education to families and communities to support the growth and development of teens.
For parenting support, outpatient therapy, and educational events or workshops, reach out to our team today.
Sources
[1] Auxier, B. et al. 2020. Children’s engagement with digital devices, screen time. Pew Research.
[2] Faverio, M. et al. 2024. Teens, Social Media, and Technology. Pew Research.
[3] Sreenivasulu, H. et al. (2023). Effects of Excessive Screen Time on Child Development: An Updated Review and Strategies for Management. Cureus, 15(6), e40608.
[4] American Academy of Pediatrics. 2024. Appropriate Age to Introduce a Mobile Device.
[5] HMD. 2025. New HMD research: Growing up in a digital world – Are teens safe online?
Mike Carter, LCDC
Alumni Relations Manager
Mike grew up on a dairy farm in Parker County, Texas. At the age of 59, he went back to college and graduated 41 years after his first graduation from Weatherford College. God placed on his heart at that time the passion to begin to help others as they walked from addictions, alcoholism, and abuse of substances. He is a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and in the past few years he has worn many hats, from intake and assessment, group counseling, individual and family counseling, intensive outpatient and now he is working with clients, therapist, and families on discharge planning and aftercare. He also coordinates our Alumni Outreach Program.
