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You’ve probably heard the term “helicopter parent” before, and you may have even wondered if it applies to you. Most parents who are labeled this way aren’t trying to control or harm their children, but are just trying to protect them. However, when does too much protection actually become harmful?
Helicopter parenting doesn’t mean keeping your child safe from real danger or being involved in their life; that’s part of parenting. It refers to stepping in too often, solving problems for children or teens before they have a chance to try, or shielding them from challenges that help build confidence and resilience.
It isn’t about doing less for your child or being careless about where they are or what they do, but instead helping them grow into capable and confident problem solvers.
What is Helicopter Parenting?
Helicopter parenting refers to a highly involved and overprotective parenting style where parents closely monitor and intervene in nearly every aspect of their child’s life, even when their kid is capable of handling things themselves.
These parents may solve problems, make decisions for their children, and stay overly present in both everyday tasks and bigger challenges. Dr. Lim Boon Leng, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, states how “helicopter parenting is maladaptive and can lead to reduced independence and confidence” [1].
Are You A Helicopter Parent? Questions to Ask Yourself
There are several ways to recognize helicopter parenting, and most helicopter parents share a similar mindset, such as wanting to protect their teen from pain or challenges. As a helicopter parent, you may consciously (or unconsciously) believe that:
- Your main role as a parent is to minimize pain in your child’s life.
- A smooth and easy life will help your teen grow up happy.
- It’s okay to continuously offer advice or ask questions about your teen’s social and private life, even if they don’t want to answer.
Signs of Helicopter Parenting
Common signs of helicopter parenting include:
- Making decisions for your child or teen that are appropriate for their age to handle.
- Closely monitoring every activity, such as schoolwork, friendships, hobbies, and personal expression.
- Constantly stepping in to solve problems for your teen, shielding them from natural consequences.
- Communicating frequently with teachers, coaches, or other adults on the teen’s behalf.
- Preventing your teen from taking age-appropriate risks or modeling independence out of fear of failure or harm.
- Excessively managing deadlines, schedules, and responsibilities.
- Struggling to tolerate a child’s mistakes or failures.
- Overfocusing on outcomes or achievements rather than effort and learning.
- Feeling anxious or distressed when your teen faces challenges on their own.
What Isn’t Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parenting is often misunderstood; it does not mean you don’t take an active interest or role in your child’s life. The following behaviors do not automatically make you a helicopter parent:
- Being supportive or involved: Listening, offering guidance, and taking a genuine interest in your teen’s life.
- Stepping in during real safety concerns and protecting your teen from harm or danger is appropriate when necessary.
- Setting boundaries, providing structure, and rules can teach teens accountability and help them feel safe and supported.
- Encourage your teen to address problems independently and help out when they ask for it, as this can build trust and connection.
Does Helicopter Parenting Work? What the Evidence Says
Although intentions are often good, shielding a child from all negativity or potentially risky situations can make it hard for them to build resilience and learn to overcome life’s setbacks.
Research shows that helicopter parents correlate with lower psychological well-being and reduced feelings of autonomy in their teens. Excessive involvement in decision-making and regulating your teen’s emotions can impact how they build independence, learn to cope with distress, and reduce their confidence in their decision-making skills [2].
This can lead to poor self-regulation and lower self-efficacy in adulthood, as well as increased mental health problems.
Making age-appropriate decisions for teens and stepping in to solve their problems before allowing them to manage them on their own can create confused, helpless young adults who struggle to make decisions or solve everyday challenges that arise.
Consequences of Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parenting can lead to several psychological, emotional, and even physical challenges in teens.
- Increased Anxiety: A systematic review of multiple studies showed a strong relationship between helicopter parenting and symptoms of anxiety and depression across cultures and ages (children, teens, and adults) [3].
- Too Dependent On You. By not letting teens figure out problems or handle situations on their own, parents create a cycle of dependency, and your children will only ever see you as the solution, even in adulthood.
- Aggression with Peers: Teens who feel like they have no control over their own lives tend to become overly controlling or aggressive with peers, and may even helicopter parent their friends.
- Increased Risk of Obesity: Many helicopter parents limit outdoor activities and playtime in their kids (out of fear of injuries). Children and teens of helicopter parents may spend excessive time sitting indoors, often in front of a TV, computer, or tablet [4].
How to Reduce Helicopter Parenting and Provide Healthier Alternatives
Julia Lythcott-Hames, Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, found that over her 10 years in academia, students increasingly struggled to care for themselves and have mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
One of the sources she pointed to is helicopter parenting, with many students struggling to advocate for themselves. Lythcott-Hames recommends four ways to reduce helicopter-parenting by encouraging [5]:
- Independence: Encourage your teens’ independence by asking them for their opinion on topics, having them run age-appropriate errands, and teaching them to cook on their own.
- Trust: Let mentors in your teen’s life, such as teachers, coaches, or other family members, offer advice and guidance to your teen. Your teen learns to interact with others, ask questions, and make judgment calls.
- Individuality: Let your teen make age-appropriate decisions about their appearance, the music they listen to, and the hobbies they pursue. Quit referring to them as “we” when speaking to them, and let your teen own parts of their life to encourage healthy identity development.
- Let Them Fail: When problems arise, don’t immediately step in and try to save them. Let your teen know you are there to offer support and guidance, but allow them to fail, make mistakes, and learn from them.
Supporting Parents and Teens at Clearfork Academy
Clearfork Academy is a network of behavioral health facilities in Texas committed to helping teens recover from substance abuse disorders and co-occurring mental health challenges.
We also provide education to families and communities to support the growth and development of teens. Our family support services include therapy, skill-building workshops, and educational events to help parents and caregivers strengthen their relationships with youth to foster their success and emotional well-being.
Discover how Clearfork Academy can support your teen today.
Sources
[1] Oey, K. Helicopter Parenting. The Asian Parent.
[2] Hawk, T. et al. (2025). Helicopter Parenting and Youth Affective Well-Being: Need Satisfaction as a Within-Family Mediator. Journal of youth and adolescence, 54(8), 1917–1933.
[3] Brønnick, K. K. (2022). A Systematic Review of “Helicopter Parenting” and Its Relationship With Anxiety and Depression. Frontiers in psychology, 13, 872981.
[4] Skenazy, L. 2014. How Overparenting Makes Kids Overweight. Time.
[5] Lythcott-Haims, J. 2015. How Helicopter Parenting Could Be Ruining a Generation of Children. ABC News.
Austin Davis, LPC-S
Founder & CEO
Originally from the Saginaw, Eagle Mountain area, Austin Davis earned a Bachelor of Science in Pastoral Ministry from Lee University in Cleveland, TN and a Master of Arts in Counseling from The Church of God Theological Seminary. He then went on to become a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor in the State of Texas. Austin’s professional history includes both local church ministry and clinical counseling. At a young age, he began serving youth at the local church in various capacities which led to clinical training and education. Austin gained a vast knowledge of mental health disorders while working in state and public mental health hospitals. This is where he was exposed to almost every type of diagnosis and carries this experience into the daily treatment.
Austin’s longtime passion is Clearfork Academy, a christ-centered residential facility focused on mental health and substance abuse. He finds joy and fulfillment working with “difficult” clients that challenge his heart and clinical skill set. It is his hope and desire that each resident that passes through Clearfork Academy will be one step closer to their created design. Austin’s greatest pleasures in life are being a husband to his wife, and a father to his growing children. He serves at his local church by playing guitar, speaking and helping with tech arts. Austin also enjoys being physically active, reading, woodworking, and music.
