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Have you ever felt, as a parent or guardian of a teen, that navigating the teenage years is akin to steering a ship through uncharted waters?
This period of life is an evolving process where rapid development and unpredictability are the norms rather than exceptions.
In this post, I’ll summarize some of the key processes at play, 3 typical behaviors, 18 red flags, and tips for communication with your teen.
The Teens—A Tumultuous Time
Hormones surge, brains rewire, and the quest for a unique identity becomes paramount. Welcome to this transformative time where childhood begins to give way to the burgeoning demands of adulthood.
Adolescents stand on the threshold, one foot in their past simplicity, the other stepping into complex future responsibilities.
As they tread this path, teenagers exhibit behaviors—characterized by biological, psychological, and social changes—that often bewilder parents.
Mood swings can seem like tempests, and quests for independence may feel like silent rebellions.
Recognizing the patterns of normal teenage behavior—those attributed to natural growth and developmental milestones—is key to supporting them through these transformative years. It reassures caregivers that, despite the occasional storm, the ship is on the right course.
At the same time, it’s vital to maintain a watchful eye for behaviors that stray from the expected. When does the search for autonomy become risky defiance? At what point do mood swings suggest emotional turmoil that requires intervention?
Distinguishing typical adolescent behavior from potential red flags is not about fostering a climate of suspicion, but about being equipped to offer the right harbor in a storm.
Our journey through the teenage years must be guided by both compassion and vigilance, as we learn to differentiate their normal ebbs and flows from the warning signs of deeper troubles beneath the surface.
By acknowledging and respecting the complexity of this period, we pave the way for open communication, trust, and support.
3 Normal Behavior Traits in Teens
Mood Swings and Emotional Fluctuations
Hormonal changes during adolescence can create a rollercoaster of emotions, manifesting as mood swings and intense feelings. While these fluctuations can be bewildering, they’re a normal part of teenage development. Encouraging teens to express themselves and communicate their feelings can promote emotional health.
Seeking Independence
As teenagers grow, they naturally seek to establish their identities and gain autonomy. While they push for this independence, adults need to strike a balance—offering guidance while allowing them the space to learn from their experiences.
Social Peer Influence
Peers play a pivotal role in shaping teens’ behaviors and preferences. While positive peer influence can support development, it is important to monitor for unhealthy group dynamics that may lead to risky teenage behavior.
18 Red Flags: Recognizing Concerning Behavior
Recognizing concerning behaviors in teenagers is key for early intervention and support. Here are 18 red flags that parents, guardians, and educators should be aware of.
Extreme Isolation
While it’s typical for teens to seek some privacy, extreme isolation is when a teenager who once enjoyed social gatherings now spends all their time alone, often in their room with the door shut.
If your previously chatty child is now giving monosyllabic answers and skipping meals just to avoid family interaction, these could be signs of excessive social withdrawal.
Perhaps they’re no longer interested in the basketball games they used to live for, or they’ve quit the drama club, which was once the highlight of their week. They may also ignore or avoid calls and messages from friends, or stop using social platforms they were once active on.
This retreat from social life shouldn’t be brushed off as just a phase. Staying emotionally connected is critical, and noticing these shifts is the first step in preventing the isolation from deepening.
Regular, casual check-ins can open lines of communication, letting them know you’re there without being intrusive.
Sudden and Severe Changes in Academic Performance
A straight-A student suddenly bringing home Cs and Ds is a clear warning signal. It’s not just about grades slipping; maybe they’re forgetting assignments, are less prepared for class, or are even truant.
When the child who used to light up discussing their history project now shrugs at the mention of school, it’s time to dig deeper. This could be due to a variety of factors, from undiagnosed learning disabilities, bullying, social issues, or loss of interest due to other underlying emotional concerns.
Close cooperation with educators is essential here. School counselors can share observations from the school environment, while teachers might provide insights into changes in classroom behavior.
Creating a supportive network around the teen can help identify the roots of academic decline and address them.
Substance Use and Abuse
Experimenting can often be a rite of passage, but there are critical signs that indicate potential substance abuse.
If you find your teen frequently smells of smoke or alcohol, has red or glazed eyes, or you discover paraphernalia among their belongings, these are significant warning signs.
Behavioral cues are also telling—if they’re suddenly secretive, changing their friend group rapidly, asking for money without an explanation, or showing a lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities, these could point to substance use.
Early intervention is vital. Educating teenagers about the risks and consequences of substance abuse can sometimes preempt experimentation. Discussions should not be confrontational but informative and empathetic.
Many schools have programs in place for education on this topic, and community resources such as local health clinics can provide valuable support.
When approached with care and concern, teenagers are more likely to be receptive to learning about and understanding the serious repercussions that substances can have on their developing brains and futures.
Unexplained Physical Changes
If your teen shows sudden weight loss or gain, unexplained bruises or cuts, or drastic changes in their grooming habits, these could be outward signs of inner turmoil. These changes may indicate eating disorders, physical altercations, self-harm, or a decline in mental health.
Drastic Personality Shifts
If a typically outgoing and confident teen becomes withdrawn, or if a generally reserved teen starts acting out in aggression, these personality changes can be a signal that something is amiss. Significant shifts in behavior that are not attributable to obvious causes (like a recent traumatic event) warrant attention.
Changes in Sleep Patterns
Adolescents often experience changes in sleep due to their development, but excessive sleepiness or insomnia, particularly if it’s a marked change from their usual patterns, can be a red flag. Sleep disturbances can be linked to a range of issues, including depression, anxiety, or substance abuse.
Risk-Taking Behaviors
An increase in dangerous activities, such as reckless driving, unsafe sexual behavior, or illegal thrill-seeking, can indicate that a teenager is struggling. These behaviors can stem from a desire to escape from emotional pain, peer pressure, or a lack of understanding of the consequences.
Obsessive Thoughts and Behaviors
If your teen starts to display signs of obsessive-compulsive behavior, such as an intense preoccupation with weight, academics, or even a relationship, this could be cause for concern. Obsessions and compulsions can manifest as a response to stress and may require professional attention.
Withdrawal from Family Activities
While it’s normal for teens to want to spend more time with friends, a complete withdrawal from family life, especially if it’s abrupt, can signal deeper issues. If they start missing family events they once enjoyed or avoid interactions during family gatherings consistently, it might be indicative of a problem.
Frequent Illness or Complaints of Feeling Unwell
If a teenager frequently complains of headaches, stomachaches, or generally feels unwell without a clear medical cause, it could be a sign of psychological stress or an attempt to avoid certain situations, like school or social events.
Decline in Personal Hygiene
Teens may sometimes become lax in their care, but noticeable neglect for hygiene — such as not showering, brushing teeth, or changing clothes — can be a sign of depression or other emotional distress.
Disinterest in Previously Enjoyed Activities
A sudden loss of interest in hobbies or activities that a teenager was previously passionate about can be a warning sign. This could indicate depression, social issues such as bullying, or other emotional difficulties.
Frequent Trouble at School or With the Law
A pattern of detentions, suspensions, or encounters with law enforcement suggests that a teenager is engaging in behavior that could have serious consequences and may be a manifestation of underlying issues.
Expressing Hopelessness or Worthlessness
Any verbal indications that a teen feels hopeless, or worthless, or speaks about life as being unbearable should be taken seriously as potential signs of depression or suicidal ideation.
Significant Changes in Eating Habits
Drastic changes in eating patterns, whether it’s eating too much or too little, can indicate issues such as stress, anxiety, or eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia.
Secretive Phone or Internet Use
While privacy is important, excessive secrecy surrounding their digital life, defensive behavior when asked about it, or a significant increase in screen time could suggest that a teen is engaging in risky behavior or being influenced by harmful online communities.
Persistent Boredom and Apathy
A teen who seems consistently bored, disinterested, or apathetic toward just about everything could be experiencing emotional flatness or disconnection, which is often associated with depression.
Use of Dark or Violent Imagery
If a teenager’s artwork, writing, or media preferences become persistently dark, violent, or disturbing, this could reflect their internal state and warrant a deeper conversation about their thoughts and feelings.
Communication and Approach
Any one of these signs on its own might not indicate a problem; teenagers are, after all, going through a time of great change. However, a cluster of these signs or a dramatic shift in behavior is a strong indication that the teen may need additional support.
It’s also important to approach these topics with sensitivity and understanding, without immediate judgment or confrontation, to keep the lines of communication open.
Observing, asking questions, and showing empathy can help uncover the reasons behind such behaviors and guide the necessary steps toward seeking help or making adjustments to support the adolescent’s well-being.
Open Dialogue
Creating a space where teens feel comfortable sharing their thoughts without fear of judgment is essential. Open, honest communication can foster trust and understanding between adolescents and adults.
Active Listening
Actively listening to teenagers and validating their feelings can significantly impact their willingness to open up. This practice not only supports their emotional development but also strengthens the relationship.
Seeking Professional Help
When to Be Concerned
It is often challenging to discern when a behavior is a cause for concern. Trusting one’s instincts and being aware of significant behavioral changes can help determine when to seek professional advice.
Available Resources
Numerous resources, including school counselors, therapists, and helplines, can provide the necessary support when addressing concerning behavior. Leveraging professional guidance, such as we offer at Clearfork Academy, is often a critical step in resolving issues. Learn more about what we treat and our methodology to help the youth of Texas.
Understanding and Vigilance
Deciphering the complexities of teenage behavior demands a balance of understanding and vigilance.
By differentiating between normal developmental behaviors and potential warning signs, we not only pave the way for healthier adolescent relationships but also promote better mental health outcomes.
As we continue to engage proactively with our teenagers, remember that every challenge is an opportunity to strengthen our bonds and support their passage to a thriving adulthood.
Key Takeaways
- Teenagers’ behavior is a complex interplay of factors, including hormonal changes and seeking independence.
- Teens’ developmental trajectory is laden with emotional ups and downs, quests for independence, and social influences.
- Understanding these aspects is pivotal in building resilient and empathetic relationships with them.
- Red flags include extreme isolation, severe changes in academic performance, and substance use.
- Early recognition of red flags can mitigate challenges before they escalate.
- Recognizing normal behavior and red flags contributes to healthier relationships and better mental health outcomes for adolescents.
- Open dialogue, active listening, and seeking professional help are vital for understanding and supporting teenagers.
References
National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA). (2021). Principles of Adolescent Substance Use Disorder Treatment: A Research-Based Guide.
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2021). Mental Health Facts in America.
Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment. (2006). https://www.jsatjournal.com/.
Originally from the Saginaw, Eagle Mountain area, Austin Davis earned a Bachelor of Science in Pastoral Ministry from Lee University in Cleveland, TN and a Master of Arts in Counseling from The Church of God Theological Seminary. He then went on to become a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor in the State of Texas.
Austin’s professional history includes both local church ministry and clinical counseling. At a young age, he began serving youth at the local church in various capacities which led to clinical training and education. Austin gained a vast knowledge of mental health disorders while working in state and public mental health hospitals. This is where he was exposed to almost every type of diagnosis and carries this experience into the daily treatment.
Austin’s longtime passion is Clearfork Academy, a christ-centered residential facility focused on mental health and substance abuse. He finds joy and fulfillment working with “difficult” clients that challenge his heart and clinical skill set. It is his hope and desire that each resident that passes through Clearfork Academy will be one step closer to their created design.
Austin’s greatest pleasures in life are being a husband to his wife, and a father to his growing children. He serves at his local church by playing guitar, speaking and helping with tech arts. Austin also enjoys being physically active, reading, woodworking, and music.
